Kumbhakarna wakes up!

Yawn !!!!!
Now that I am awake, I will try to be regular. Keep checking back.

(2B) || ( ! 2B)

If you are computer programmer by profession or have a knack of some C-like programming languages, you will not need my translation to read the topic. For everyone else, in English it reads: to be or not to be. I didn't write the topic like that to appear cool or hip; nor was my intention to sound confusing and thus profoundly knowledgeable; neither to chew my words. With this topic alone I want to illustrate the impression that I am getting reading the Nepali blogs so far - that it has a targetted readership and their topics are very subjective. Nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I am only thinking aloud. Really, nothing wrong in being subjective. But our Nepali blogshpere seems to have become constrictive, and this my friends, is quite counter intiutive.

There are numerous blogs that I visit that specialize in ONE topic and I like them very much - mostly on my work related topics like BPM, C#/.NET technologies and IT system architecture and performance stuff. I also like some that are purely entertainment - mostly comedy oriented. There are some serious political blogs that I like and really dislike that I visit regularly (applies to both categories). In a week, I think I visit anywhere from 2-30 blogs of varying subjects and origins and styles depending on how much time I do get to spare. I would love to do more of it, but, hey ...someone's gotta pay the bills, hmm??

In the Nepali blogsphere, I visit most of the regularly updated ones (and really, there aren't that many that are regular). Most of the regular ones are run by journalists and naturally provide extensions to their regular work in writing/reporting . I'll come back to these later in this article. I also visit many other blogs run by non-jurnos, most of them are not regular or lack any depth in writing - just like mine, I guess. I like some of the funny ones but they are not at all regularly updated - again, just like mine. Topicwise, I would love to see fewer political and more social ones. I can mostly do without personal day-to-day diaries. I have enough of my worries to care about, who gives a rat's behind about yours? I think I have to criticize myself for this - I too have diverged to personal ramblings quite too many times and let the purpose of this blog go haywire. Probably you can do without those from me too - sorry! Ok, agreed...never again.
Like a grumbling old man, who has nothing to do but complain, I've come up with some labels that can be applied to all Nepali bloggers, myself not excluding. Here is are some worth looking at:

Don Quixote
Anybody with enough calibre of composing a sentence or two seem to act as pundits on political issues and start pronouncing, denouncing, announcing their theories, judegements, allegations, accusations or what have you. People living outside Nepal are more akin to act like this. I have seen and met ample of these folks going nuts over things that they happen to read in online news. Out of sheer boredom or too much time in hand or both, these folks resort to fancy thinking...like acting important, saying things like "I know so and so leader", "So and so and I are good friends"; or theorizing national policies when they themselves have non-existing careers; preaching right, wrong, democracy and what not. By the way, a friend of mine in England also complains of the same things there. He gets back from brutal hospital hours and sometimes accompanies his wife, also back from brutal hospital hours, to a Nepali get-together. I can only imagine their rage when they hear people there say things like - "Dactar saab, maile ta Girija lai bhani diye - esto taal le desh chaldaina." and to know that the speakers of these enlightening sentences are barely running their own lives doing menial and odd jobs. The problem is, these folks have gone online - they discovered BLOG !! I have nothing against their lifestyle or their not-so-impressive careers - just stay off the preaching part, thank you. Now, having said that, there are some who have been making quite an effort in blogging and have been doing so for quite some time. But their intent and calibre is lacklustre at best as demonstrated by the content of their writings, doings( sending spam emails) and quixotic acts like "writing a constitution", "proposing a federal structure for Nepal" and so on. Again, too much time in hand and a desire to be seen as IMPORTANT. Frankly, who doesn't want to be important? What these Don Quixote's reincarnations lack is ...well, a punch of reality perhaps.

Gyani and Mahagyani
Back to the blogs by jurnos now. Very informative if you don't read the news first. Sometimes, there are "extras" on the news already published. The only new aspect of these is the discussions part. I am sorry to say, but most of the discussions lead no where. Of all the current-events like blogs, I like My Sansar . I also like the fact that the blogger has gone pro with it - qudos to the blogger for the guts and leading the pack. I like UWB when it comes to political content. These guys may already be past their prime now that media is not restricted any more. But, I still like this site as a forum for politiking. Not by a jurno, (I think) I also like Blogdai for the blogger's out-of-the-box analysis and cut-the-chase remarks. But, honestly "blogdai" doesn't seem to be living in the real world; and the same goes for the "active" participants on his site. On the other hand, some of the bloggers that fall into this label have told me (in their comment sections) that they really don't care what other think of their writing. I say that because more than once I have been given that same line when they hear something they don't like...they say "what I write in my blog is my opinion and (you should not be bothered about it) or (I don't care what you think of it)". For example: read the blog and my conversation there after with one blogger HERE. I say, why put it up in blog in the first place if you don't care about other's opinion? Or, it should have been much more comfortable to not allow any comments. Anyways, I read them becoz regularly updated ones are seriously lacking otherwise.

Groupie
Ever seen a logo "A proud member of BLOGAN" or something similar "proudly" displayed on the blog? Well, there you go - you found yourself a groupie. First, I don't like the idea of belonging to a group that has a label attached to it (ironical ! I hear you say... since I am the one who is labelling here). Being called a blogger is a label enough as far as I am concerned. I hear that BLOGAN has even thought of formally registering itself as an non-profit organisation of some sort. It is a quite an effort..but, IMHO, futile all the same. As soon as one is attached to a group or an organization, it always comes with a bag of creepy worms, viz. agenda, prioritization and a collective purpose - all of which I, for one, can do without when blogging. Quite a nice way of belonging to a flock and bleating for a cacophonous symphony. Congratulations !!

Wannabees
These are novices, procrastinators, amatures, with virtually no skill of writing and mostly without a topic either ....in short, the rest of us (almost !!!) . I know, I know, I surely did ruffle some sensitive feathers and thus inspired you to curse me with words unfit to write here - but, hey, I'm one of you, if that is any consolation; if it is not - who cares? It's the truth, deal with it. Some of us are even trying to butress our ego and self-confidence by somehow transforming ourself into a cool blogger. A buddy of mine who is a very successful photographer/graphical designer recently came up with an idea to start a new blog on photography and tourism as it pertains to Nepal, only that he wanted to focus on good aspects than bitching about the problems. His brian child is still in the making and will probably take some more months of prep before he goes public. I can only say, it will be grand and one of the best in our blogsphere. Until then, he too is a wannabee - sorry pal! And then, there are folks like me who would like to blog on anything/everything APOLOTICAL, but never seem to find time (an excuse for procrastination!) or topic (an excuse for stupidity) or both ( thus, a reason to procrastinate) !!!

Dummies
Did you feel that your blog doesn't belong to any of the aforementioned categories? Well then, welcome home ! This is where you belong. I do have one more label that I don't yet know who to attach to (see below); but, until then most of you are here to stay. Amazingly enough, few of you who will eventually grow out of this label are probably the only ones to get to my last category.

Goodies
{ Intentionally left blank !! }

Is there more to say? By the way, the reason for the Hamletian dilemma as the title of this post is becoz I am not sure if I want to continue to belong to the "wannabees". If not, do I grow above it or out of it? That is the question ! Amen.

Reading here and there

Looks like it is the season to read. I have quite a list and quite an appetite. It's been sometime that I've read as much as I used to. Well, after I return home from work, a baby in one hand and a book in another seems to be working quite well for me. Let's see how it keeps up. In the mean time, I'am all ears for good books - please suggest some that you have read. My focus of the month is south-asian writers, no language barriers as long as it is in Eglish, Nepali, Hindi, Bengali or translation into aforementioned ones of any.

For now, here is my reading of this week...
I started reading Jhumpa Lahiri's "Interpreter of Maladies" last night. So far so good. I will hold my opinion on it until I finish reading it, hopefully tonight. In the mean time, the last two books that I read were Herman Hesse's "Siddhartha" and Samrat Upadhyay's "Royal Ghosts". Both authors were the first time for me so I had no preconceived ideas about their approach or the plots. Just prior to these two I had finished reading some Nepali books - Bhupi's poem collection and Paarijaat's "Shirish Ko Phool" and the likes from good ol' days. But, the last one was Narayan Wagle's "Palpasa Cafe".

On Samrat Upadhyay's Royal Ghosts:-
I had heard great many "wah-wah"s and "chi-chi"s, depending on who I spoke to, for Samrat's "Arresting God in Kathmandu" but nothing for this one. So, I decided to read it first - having absolutely no idea about his style and presentation. Let me start with the good part - Royal Ghost is an easy read. There is a vibe of magnetism in the way the stories develop and also in the way the characters come to life. The description of the life and city has a nostalgic aura to it not only to expatriates but also for someone who has been living in Kathmandu. Unfailingly, the stories will make the readers think, smile, fuss and grunt. What more can you ask for, right? However, story after story, one trend seems to emerge - the plots develop well, captivating the reader at each page turn. Then, all of a sudden when one finally feels "okay, we are going somewhere with this," ...bam...he drops it ! The story ends. One feels as if there was more to the story that the author chose not to tell. No, I was not looking for a typical masala-hindi-movie type of ending where everyone hugs and kisses everyone else. Rathar, I got a feeling that the author simply had no more juice flowing at a certain point and just stopped there. While the juice I speak of certainly flows abundantly in Samrat's narratives, I found the endings in his stories not well-rounded. Well, that's the only part I didn't like, and I didn't like it BIG time ! OK read otherwise. Next in line from the author - "Arresting God in Kathmandu".

On Herman Hesse's Siddhartha (Translation by Hilda Rosner) :-
Absolutely mesmerizing way of spinning off the spiritual quest! Such a small book and such a powerful punch ! All the while I was reading it, I was constantly reminded of another book of equally mesmerizing spiritual journey in Paramhansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi". I recommend this book to anyone who wants to start an inward quest on spiritualism. I don't want to spoil anyone's intake or experience by my limited capacity to describe this book - just go read it. Next in line from the author - "The Glass Bead Game" (also known as "Magister Ludi")

On Narayan Wagle's Palpasa Cafe :-
It is a very good read. I had a some idea on what kind of plot it was; so, I was not at all looking forward to read it. I now thank my Saasuji for bringing the book along with her from Nepal. I instantly loved it after reading the first few pages. It was the brilliantly refreshing style of his writing that kept me hooked despite the grim and somewhat solemn background. Now that I've read the book, I don't think there is any other way to tell that story. Biggest plus on the book - focus ! There aren't many characters to distract the author from hitting hard on what he intends to say; there aren't complicated and detailed biographies of the characters therein to distract the readers from getting to the centre of the whirlwind, so to speak; and, the author assumes an intelligent reader by not filling in the gaps for her. Speaking in the spirit of the book - it not only presents a canvas but also provides ample of colors and brushes to paint the picture with. Once again, I thank my saasuji. Next in line from the author- whatever he writes in future(in fiction form, that is).

ए बा !

बा भईयो ! हप्ता-दिनेक भए होलान । हैन, अलि बढी भएछन । खैर, त्यही हो कारण मेरो मौनताको । New Dad Syndrome ले मलाई पूरै सताएको छ । थकित जिउ, अनिदा आँखा, काँतर मुटु अनि अपत्त्यारिलो पाराले पलाएको जोश - यी सबै भएकाछन् मलाई। एक हप्ताको बिदा लिएर बसेको थिएँ सुत्त्केरी स्यहार्न, कसरी बित्यो केही पत्तो पाईन । एक दिन एकजना मित्रसँग फोनमा कुरा गर्दै थिएँ - भोली शुक्रबारसम्म छुट्टी लिएको छु - भनेँ । शुक्रबार त बितिसकेको रहेछ ! ह्या - क्या ताल पर्‍यो भने !

मलाई धेरैले सोधेको प्रश्न - "कस्तो हुदो रैछ त?" यो प्रश्न सोध्नेहरुसँग मेरो निक्कै गुँनासो छ । प्रथम त सोध्ने साथीहरु प्रायस: आँफै कम्तिमा एकजनाको पिता/माता भैसकेका परे । Mixed Chat को स्वादजस्तै मैले महसुस गरिरहेका उन्माद, संकट, गर्व, चिन्ता, अन्योलता अनि दृढ-संकलपताका मिश्रीत भावनाहरु यी मित्रहरु सबैले पहिलेनै महसुस गरिसकेकाछन । तैपनि मलाई सोधी टोपल्नुको अर्थ कि त मेरा मित्रहरु सार्‍है भुलक्कड रहेछन कि आफुजस्तै यो मोरोलाई पनि पर्‍यो कि परेनछ भनेर यकिन गर्ने चेष्टा गरेकाहुन्, मैले लख काट्न सकिन । अर्का थरि साथीहरु जो आफु पिता/मता भैसकेका छैनन्, तीनलाई यती सजिलै एउटा नयाँ जीवन निम्त्याएको बेलाको अलौकिक बृतान्त किन सुनाउनु? दुबै प्रती मेरो आपत्ति छ । नजानेर, थाहा पाउन मन लागेर सोध्नेहरुलाई चाँही मेरो आपत्ति छैन । तर, चाहेर पनि म त्यो क्षणको विवरण दिन सक्दिन ।

रुँदै-कराऊँदै, कर्कश ध्वनिमा जीवनको पहिलो प्रमाण दिंदै हाम्रो जीवनमा प्रवेश गरेको त्यो नव आगन्तुकलाई मेरी प्यारीले अश्रुधारले स्वागत गरेको म अमुक भई हेरिरहेँ । प्यारी गद-गद भएको म प्रष्ट देखिरहेको थिएँ, म अन्योलमा थिएँ । केही सेकेन्डको त्यो अन्योल अचानक नै वात्त्सल्यमा परिणत भएछ, मैले पत्तै पाइनँ । त्यस पशचातका सबै पलहरु भने कुनै मेशिनका स्वचालित पुर्जाजस्तै आँफै चलिरहे । कहिले सुतायो, कहिले उठायो, कहिले खुवायो, कहिले हगायो - बस्, यती हुन कृया-कलाप । सुन्दा अचम्म लाग्छ - त्यती जाबो गर्नलाई केको पहाड चडेजस्तो कुरा? अहो, सुदुर-पष्चिमी र पष्चिमी नेपालका मैले चडेका गोडा-पचासेक पहाडहरु भन्दा त यी ४ काम निक्कै गार्‍हो हुँदा रैछन गाँठे । सुताउन खोज्यो सुत्दैन, खुवाउन खोज्यो खाँदैन, उठाउन खोज्यो उठ्दैन, हगाउने-मुताउने त कोशीस गर्ने कुरै भएन । धैर्यको पराकाष्टा नाप्ने काम चाँही यो पक्का हो । यो भन्दा बढी अहिले केही नलेखौँ।

मेरा सबै निसन्तान मित्रहरु - परेर मात्र जानिने कुरा यो हो, त्यसैले मेरो भाषणले केही नाप्दैन। बाकी रह्यो मेरो भावनाका कुराहरु - धैर्य गर्नुस्, चाँडै पोष्ट गर्नेछु । अहिलेलाई बिदा है - फेरी घरतिर दगुर्ने बेला भैसकेछ ।

Ramblings on reflections

And here it is again....the dreadful snow storm. To make matters worse I had to drive all the way to the City (NY, in case you are wondering) and back to my office while the storm was going on. What I really wanted to do was head home and make some MOMO and eat them steaming hot for lunch !! My sweetheart would love it too - and my job doesn't actually demand my presence at office (so, why am I here then?). Any way, like you might have guessed by now - I write a lot when it snows !! Here is the product of the lousy, grey weather and ample of time at hand. (A fair warning - a lot of reflection and ramblings..not much of a thoughtfuld entry....)

The storm got worse once I hit the road, and so did the traffic. We, my sweetheart & I, love The City - it has got it's own energy and vibe about it; but I hate driving here. I live in Connecticut and it takes about an hour (give or take 20 mins) to get to JFK from my place. Today, my destination was not JFK and even with the terrible weather, the traffic was the same - horrible. Behind the wheel, there I was in the leftmost lane on I-95, south bound. On my right was a trailer and on left was the safety barrier. I feel "boxed-in" in this type of condition, but there was nothing I could do about it. The trailer that I mentioned was just one among the many others - as far as I could see ahead and in my rear view mirror. So, I decided to stick to my lane and wait for better space to jump lanes or speed well ahead the mile or so of the string of trailers. If I looked to my left and across the north bound traffic lanes of the I-95, I could see the City's infamous skyline through the hazy and grey snow shower. The weather condition did give me an opportunity to see the night-lights in the daytime !! I started to wander off in my thoughts...as I usually do when I am bored behind wheels. It usually starts with one of my favorite songs in my head - "Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel..." by Jim Morrison. And then I drift off....I started thinking - how on earth did I get here ? A लुरे boy from a dusty town in eastern Neapl whom everyone called नसे .... It's hard to understand what roles everyone and everything had in shaping my fate in a way that I am where I am today doing what I am doing - good or bad ! What did my parents do? What did I do? Who did more? Or less? What happens now onwards? If I am not certain of the causality of my current being, who/what do I refere to for future? I am not exagerrating - it is just a sample of my thought. Don't get me wrong - I ponder on good things too and sometimes really useful stuff. Like, I have thought of several neat algorithms to solve my problems at work. Or like, I think about how far I have come from the school in Phidim where we had to paint our black board with wasted batterie's carbon dusts to working in a high tech field in a huge organization.

I feel I have done well and even look forward to doing even more. I feel good about the decisions that I made in shaping my life - some of which got my parents really scared - like walking out of office in well paying job in the middle of a day and never going back to work there. My parents were not only shocked, but thought I had either screwed up really bad or had fought with my boss. Neither was true - my boss would kill to keep me there and I was about half a day away from completing a really important project. I had reasons for leaving but I was sure no one would understand it if I explained it to them, esp. not my parents - in fact nor would any parent. For your reading pleasure, here it is - I just got bored !! Really, it was that simple. I was working 7am-6pm normally and 6:00am-midnight when required. I loved it when there were challenges and critical decisions were to be made - I simply loathed the mundane routine part of the job. Day in and day out, I would sit there writing code, test and deploy. A fix here and a patch there and the process repeated itself again. More than writing code, I enjoyed teaching my colleagues when they needed some help, which was most of my working hours - To think that I was made to work as a "volunteer" for 2 months so as to bring my skills up to par with my colleagues still surprises me. I think I was too naiive then - I accepted it ! As much as liked programming, I hated the lack of creativity in producing the similar looking codes for each projects. I simply couldn't see myself doing that for another day - period. So, I took a hike and never returned.

I have made decisions like that many times in my life and they may look to be very irrational and done at a whim. However, I don't think they were hasty decisions. If you know about Myers-Briggs test, my personality type is INTJ (Introvert, Intuitive, Thiking and Judging). When the "world" sees me making a decision, it is actually a result of a culmination of at least few weeks of silent contemplation, calculation, reflection and analysis. If the decision happens to be a big one, others only see the act of my making a decision and term it as a light-handedness. No wonder everyone, including my sweetheart, were astounded, to say the least, when I declared that I was getting out of school - just a dissertaion away from getting my PhD. No, I'm not blaming anyone for it. I still want to get that degree, but not without purpose or without meaning. I learned about conducting scientific research, presenting academic papers, publishing in IEEE, teaching classes and digested volumes upon volumes of conference proceedings. I learnt to live like a sage and sometimes live in the lab for the entire week - no shave, no shower, only mouthwash !! But, by the time I quit I realized that I was wasting my time. I wanted to teach but certainly not straight out of school. I wanted to go work in the "industry" before I started teaching and a PhD would in fact be an obstacle in most circumstances than an aid. I wanted to learn about the "science" part in computer science and I believed I had gathered enough understanding of it to conduct a decent conversation with likes of Bjarne Stroustrup, Andrey Markov, Donald Knuth and the other GODs of the science. I simply saw no reason for me to stick around in school and waste any more time - I was not getting any younger !! As much as I wanted that degree, I didn't want it just for the sake of it. No "Dactar saa'b" for me if it has no meaning. Boy, my advisor was confused ! He even asked me to break for some time and come back to school without loosing a semester or credits ! He thought I was simply overworked ! It couldn't be farther from the truth - I was not doing anything for few weeks but thiking. I had few chapters of dissertation going on and was preparing to gather my result sets. Otherwise, I was just keeing a cool head and thinking about it all. Why do I want the degree? Is it not foolish to let go of something that you have worked for so long and so hard? What am I going to do once I leave school? Do I want to really quit school? For few weeks, that was my "song in the head". I think I have a gift of being very focused on my thought, or may be I am very selfish. Whenever I have to make such decisions, I never think of the effects my decision would have on others. Like, what will my parents think? What will my wife think? What will others think of me? I believe, it is because I don't worry about others in my decision making process that I can analyze what is best for me. I am certain I would not be happier now if I were teaching and not working in the market. I am certain I would never know how the real-world actually works had I started teaching - after all, IT field in Nepal is not a real-world per se. I understand that I let go of something that I was very close to getting but the only thing I probably missed is lengthening my name by few letters. I don't hate my name, so I don't really intend to complain about that "missed" opportunity !!

No regrets, dear friends - life is good. I had a joy ride all the way from primary school to school here in the US. Never stopped learning and never stopped making friends. Speaking of friends, I dont' make many but tend to stick to the ones I make. My best friend is still the one that I made in my eighth grade - and we never studied together after 10th !! How things turn out in life ! Can you believe it - we used to write letters to each other, the old fashioned way! In fact, when I was in Idia for my bachelor degree, I was among the ones who got the most letters ! The postman loved me for the tips he got delivering the letters and the maganizes that I used to subscribe to. I also wrote letters to my other friends, my parents and also my brothers who studied somewhere else in India. How fast the world changes ! Right after I returned from India (1998), Email got HUGE in KTM! Well, it took me one more year to getting around buying a computer and another 2 years to getting an Email account at home. How different it is now and we all take it for granted. With so much going around in Nepal, each day seemingly hopeless than the earlier, I try to find solace in the good things of life, good people we meet and the good things we do. We are simple human beings but we do act in very COMPLEX ways - but this is a different post altogether. Regardless, good things happen to us and we make good things happen to someone else - what a warm feeling this is, isn't it?

Dear me !! what did I write? Pardon me, my dears ! I do get carried away. What can I say - I am one heck of a talkative introvert - an oxymoron? or just an ox and and a moron? Take your pick !!

PS: I won't be reading much for some time. Trying to enjoy being a dad. I'm not one yet - but, I intend to enjoy each moment of the preparation and thereafter. So, more time and energy required on something else. However, I'm still open for your suggestions for good books that you have read (not the ones you've heard) !!

Excuses ...

Sorry friends, I didn't write for some days. To be precise, I didn't POST for some time - I did write. That I can not stop. There are plenty of reasons (read excuses) for my not writing - yada yada yada - and so on; naturally, you are least interested in any of those. Regardless, mostly I've been busy at ("pretending to") work, reading, cleaning, cooking (to entertain others),shopping and taking care of my lovely (and very,very,very pregnant) wife. If you are not familiar with it already, it is tax filing time in the US. In that spirit, here is the itemized description of my activities mentioned above:-
1. ("Pretending to") Work :- Yes, I am punctual and regular. I would like to think that I am good at what I do. Updating and honing of skill are obviously not entirely un-necessary, I agree. I don't lack enthusiasm or uplifted moral; in fact, I do have a plenty of it. It is simply that this past month has been a disastrously slow month at work. No new assignments. Like a typical proactive immigrant "Deshi" (a term coined by the real Deshis in the US to refer to themselves and anyone hailing from Indian sub-continent), I even asked for new assignments ...but, to no avail. I patiently sit down in my little cubicle 8-5 doing nothing but solving Sudoku or writing. I am getting very good at the former and have no idea about the later. I am begining to wonder if my work has already been assigned to a real Deshi in the actual Desh ! I doubt it since my company simply can not do that. But, the lethargic pace is just killing me. The nature of job(employment term) prohibits me from starting a new project on my own - so, there is nothing I can do about it. Either get paid to solve Sudoku until work is assigned or look for another job. I chose the former for the time being.

2. Reading: Just to make it clear - newspapers, magazines, blogs, websites don't count ! They are like brushing teeth or taking shower or eating - essentials and cannot be done without. During this period of silence my reading too was very limited. I read some, attempted some and gave up completely on some. One that has been on my reading list for quite some time is "Lincoln" by David Herbert Donald. For some reason, I never seem to complete this book. I have already tried twice. While I was at it this time, I finished two others (1984 by G.Orwell and Atlas shrugged by Ayn Rand). Lincoln remains unfished. I am reading more and more non-fiction these days. "Work Hard, Study...and Keep Out of Politics!" by James Baker, II and "The Mighty & The Almighty" by Madeleine Albright are the last two that I read on non-fiction...also during my period of silence. I am thinking of reading some asian (Deshi !!) writers on fiction.<b> I am all ears to your suggestions of some contemporary ones</b>.

3. Cooking: We are new to the city that we are living in. It's just been about a year here. Where as, in the earlier city our social circle was huge and kept us quite busy just attending get-togethers, this city has been a blessing in disguise. We didn't entertain anyone or were entertained by anyone since we came to this city. Constact bickering, back-stabbing, फाल्तु -politicking, political गफ of the know-it-alls - those were the only things that we missed by not socializing with our countrymen. And, we were so pleased with it. But, we were cautiously searching for Nepalese people that we could socialize with. This time around, we intended not to invest too much emotion in these kinds of social network. So, even though we knew there were plenty of Nepalese about 40 miles from our place, we decided that it was not worth the travel. We would end up investing too much in something that is not worth it. As luck would have it, we came across a Nepali family in a Deshi store. They too are new to the city and were cautiously searching for others, just like us ! What are the odds? Best part of it ? They live only about 10 mins walk from our place !!! SO, there it was - a perfect match ..just waiting around the corner. We went to their place for an afternoon snack and dinner. Of course, we reciprocated with the same. It was fun and their two kids were fun too. That naturally meant a lot of cooking ! I just hope we continue cooking for this family and not too many others. Too much of sugar is bitter, isn't it? So is the company of Nepalese !! Keep it small & keep it cordial, I learnt it the hard way.

4,5 and 6. Cleaning, Shopping ,and Taking care: In case you don't know already, I am going to be a dad very soon. I had posted something about it earlier - here - too. During this silence, I was preparing for it too. I think we have done all the shopping - only a car-seat remains now. Just yesterday I fixed some furnitures, re-arranged the apartment, assembled a bed for the guests and the soon-to-be-grandparents arriving from Nepal. The carpet has already been steam-cleaned. Kitchen and bath remains to be disinfected - that's for this weekends "to-do" list. Since my wife is getting more and more uncomfortable each day , I intend to keep her away from the kitchen and any chores. The poor darling feels even more troubled for having to "just-sit-and-look" (in her words) at me huffing, panting, cursing and more cursing while I attend to the chores. I can't help the huff-n-puff but the cursing part I am doing just to keep her attention on me ! She does warn me from time to time that those words could be the first ones that our child actually says if I keep my habit ! I doubt it, though - not becoz I am confident of my parenting skills, but being a ज्वाँई doesn't permit you to speak those words in front of your in-laws ! Quite unlike our beloved माओवादी कमरेड lawmaker who gets to carry a weapon and curse as well. I protest - It's not fair !??&*&&!!? I should be allowed to do the same in my "house." :-D
Let me sum it all up by quoting another politician, of entirely different calibre and traits -- "I'll be back."

पर्खाई

धेरैपछि नेपालीमा लेख्ने चेष्टा गर्दैछु । भूल-चुक माफ गर्नुहोला । शुक्रबारको दिन, अफिसमा बसी रहेको थिएँ । काम धेरै नभएपछी सार्‍है पट्यार लागेर आऊछ । त्यसमाथि पनि, बाहिर हिँऊ परिरहेकोथियो । बिहीवारको हिँऊ सफा गर्दा गर्दा सारा जिउ दुखिरहेको थियो । फेरी पनि दु:ख पाउने भैयो भनेर दिक्क लाग्ने भैहाल्यो ।कतिबेला घर गएर बुढीसँग मिलेर म:म बनाएर खानुजस्तो भैइरहेको थियो । अनि हेडफोनमा नारायण दाईको गाना बजिरहेको थियो । अनि त मलाई के चाहियो - म त नेपाल नै पुगेछु । दस मिनेट समय अनि Unicode मा Nepali Typing को नतिजा - यी तलका हरफहरु :
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पर्खाई

हिउँ हेर्दै, टोल्हाएर बसेको छु
अनन्त देखिको पर्खाईजस्तो
न त पाउने आश छ, न त आउने
किन, केको पर्खाई हो टुङ्गो लाउन बसेको छु ।

मेरा ईच्छाका बिम्बहरु प्रत्यक्ष भैदिए
सुम्सुम्याएर, जतन गरी स्याहार्ने थिएँ
आकांक्षाका ती दुर्लभ जिनीशहरु
कति स्नेहसहित हुर्काउने थिएँ
तर, मेरा रहर कुनै नवबिबाहिता जस्तो
मानसपटलको कुहिरो भित्र नै लुकिरहेछन
सैयौँ खोजहरुका बाबजुत पनि
लुकामारी मात्रै खेलिरहन्छ
यही लुकामारीको दोष हो
या त मेरो प्रयासको
म खोजी रहेछु, तर
मेर ईच्छाहरु लुकिरहेछन ।


मेरो खोजी ...
फेरी उहि अनन्त देखिको जस्तो,
चली रहेछन ....
केही गुमाएकोछु, न केही कमाएको
लेखा-जोखा गर्ने तराजु पनि
शायद मैले कहीँ हराएको छु
म भन्न सक्दिन मैले कहाँ, कति, कहिले गुमाएँ
बनाएकाहरु पनि जब म चिन्न सक्दिन
सबै प्रश्नहरुको भुमरीभित्र पनि
मलाई थाहा छ, तर
मेरो खोजी . . म रोक्न सक्दिन ।

तिमीले देख्यौ? तिम्ले भेट्यौ?
होइन .. के भनि नसोध मलाई
म प्रश्नहरुदेखि भागी हिंडेकोछु
मैले खोजी हिंडेको बस्तु भेट्यौ भने
तिमीनै आफ्नो बनाऊ त्यसलाई
हुनसक्छ, म त्यसलाई नै नचिनेर हिंडेकोछु
मलाई चिनाउन नखोज केही, कोहि पनि
भ्रमहरु नै सार्थक लाग्छन मलाई
अर्थ-अनर्थ नकेलाऊ मेरालागि
हुनसक्छ, सामर्थ्यको परिधी बिर्सिसकेकोछु ।

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यती लेखिसकेपछि मलाई meeting मा जानु पर्‍यो ।
Even I wanted to continue it and probably give a better completion, but the next time I tried to do so, the juice was just not there any more. I thought - so be it.